Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap
ourselves up, we always come up with the idea of “I wish I was somebody
else.” More often than not, we think and
believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us.- when in
reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us.
You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a
party, casually sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself,
“she looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read thru her transparent
mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed
that she's thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here unaccompanied?
Why don't guys find me good-looking? …I don't like my ankles, they look too
skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”
We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Woo-oh…
what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to
himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won't talk to me… I hope
mom and dad would still work things out.”
Isn't it funny? We look at other people, envy them for
looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while
they look at us and thinks of the same thing. We are insecure of other people
who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low confidence, lack of
self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in
quiet desperation.
Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like
biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, is
the last to know.
I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most
conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she
has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever
she's around, and she doesn't notices
how badly she became socially handicapped – gradually affecting the people in
her surroundings.
One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a
trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the
most gentle topics you want to talk about. Ask questions like “do you think I
am ill-mannered?”, “Do I always sound so
argumentative?”, “Do I talk too
loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when were
together?”. In this way, the other
person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self
improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don't give her
answers like “Don't exaggerate! That's just the way I am!” Open up your mind and heart as well. And in
return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will
also help her develop her self.
One of Whitney Houston's songs says “Learning to love your self
is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must
love your self too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.
Before telling other people some ways on how to improve
themselves, let them see that you your self is a representation and a product
of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire
other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.
Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget
the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so
on. Accepting your true self is the
first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others
only to find out at the end that we've got 10 more reasons to envy them.
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always
wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life
needs not to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self
improvement and loving your self is not a matter of shouting to the whole world
that you are perfect and you are the best. It's the virtue of acceptance and satisfaction.
When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.
